I saw a post this morning that broke my heart a little. The thing is, it wasn’t the first time I had seen someone lately feeling sad that what they were looking for in a partner was so elusive. I have some thoughts.
You see, I didn’t find what I was looking for either.
I know, I know. It sounds crazy. I mean, Father Christmas and I are adorable. Everybody says so, which means it must be true.
Except He wasn’t what I was looking for. I was looking for a friend to go to movies with. Maybe even a FWB who’d give me a little rough dicking after watching Spiderman die in the most excruciatingly sad way ever… but I digress. And use ellipses.
I found something else entirely. I found a man who had never been called Daddy in a relationship. I found a man who brought out the tenderness and neediness I had never expressed before, and in return I seem to have inspired protectiveness and nurturing which nicely compliments his physically sadistic nature.
It was a crazy random happenstance, and I don’t think I could have found it on purpose if I had tried. How could I when He hadn’t found that part of Himself yet and I didn’t know I was looking for it? The moment I awkwardly called Him Daddy we both knew we had discovered something a little magical, powerful.
I wish I could clone Him and send Him out to all of the lonely littles, middles and babygirls who haven’t found their Daddies. I suspect, however, that while it might suffice for a time, it would not last.
Life experiences. Hopes and dreams. Shared interest. Physical attraction, chemistry and shared kink desires. Without those things, the moment of Daddy never would have happened in the perfect storm of our encounter.
Maybe instead of looking for Daddies, maybe, just maybe, try to find friends. It seems as good of a way as any to proceed. Though, who knows? There isn’t only one way to find love, that’s for sure.
Oh. And YMMV. 😘